Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize