everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
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She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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