so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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