He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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