I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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