Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
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Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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