just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize