weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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