Need sex. Gaining weight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When are your genitals available?
Randomize