I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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