I hate your face
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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