We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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