Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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