Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize