If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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