Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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