she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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