i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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