Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize