Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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