She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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