I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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