i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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