Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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