Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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