my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You were trust falling into bushes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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