I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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