TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize