Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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