absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Small penises have feelings too.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize