Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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