I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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