lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
