I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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