um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize