so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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I have feelings that need drinking.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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