Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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