A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My hand turned me down
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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