I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We are two peas in an std pod
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize