I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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