Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize