I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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