he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize