Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Green mimosas i think yes
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize