sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize