Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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