I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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