a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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