What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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