The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize